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I've got the summertime blues...........oh, no I don't

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:42:00 -0400

I love summer!!! And while it is true that this summer is a little hard with all of the emotional upheaval and the store closing and all of the money stuff........I still love summer!! I love to get up in the morning and have my kids at home. I love seeing them. I love that they are so relaxed and without a million things to do and amazing amounts of stress from homework. They are such a pleasure to be with. And this summer, I get to enjoy that again. I love that. They are so worth every moment. Every breath. I like my kids. And summer also means a vacation of some sort. Everybody needs to get away now and then. Whether it's to the backyard or another country. Something different needs to happen. Something that jolts us out of the rut and makes us experience something new and renew our spirits just a bit before fall comes and school and work take precedence again. Summer is like a gift of time. I hear some moms bemoaning their kids being home and
"what will I do with them for three months?" I can't believe it. Summer has never been long enough around our house. Of course, I've never been their soul entertainment either. That's what sticks and rocks and toys and bikes are for. Oh yes, and on particularly hot days, we hole up and watch tv and read books. Summer is bright and wonderful and open to adventures for all ages. Dont' let this one pass you by. Breathe it in. Enjoy the hot air. Enjoy the rain. Look at that full moon. Gaze at the stars from your roof or your trampoline. Get a blanket and go to a concert in the park. Go see a free family movie.......can you believe there are free movies/???Awesome. Make memories. If you are creative, make art. Make food. But not when it's hot. When it's hot, skip food and eat ice cream or fruit. Or both. Bend the rules. Be a little laid back. Laugh more. Dream Incessantly. And then, sadly, summer will come to an end.........but you will be refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to roll into the school year. You will have better relationships with family and friends. And your kids will know you better. Come on. Risk it. It might become habit forming. You might become a summer addict. I dare you.

Sittin On My Bed

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:44:00 -0400

Progress has been made in my learning to not run Rose Buds as a way of life. This morning I am writing from the comfort of my own home........my own room. Looking around, I am rather looking forward to having some extended time to be here in my home. I like it here. I just don't like it when it becomes simply a place to clean....like to sit and enjoy it. Have time to savor the little nooks and places that our place offers. Time to do more than glance at the flowers that I labored to plant.:) They smell so good. Time to smell the roses is an apt phrase.:) What about you? You taking time to live or are you so busy planning the next thing that you are missing this thing? Life is to be truly lived. Savored. Like good food, it demands time and attention and not just wolfing down. I have to say that Deedee taught me best this idea. How to slow down even when the world is going out of control. How to rest when "I have so much to do." And you know, sometimes in doing that, I actually get more done than when trying to slog along and keep up. Putting my heart into life. My energy. And yet, knowing that life is not about the doing or accomplishing, but about the experience, the learning, the noticing, the cherishing. It's about taking time to think. And reflect. That looks different for everyone, but we are all made in the image of God. And in that image, we plan. We create. We think. Not just do. And sometimes, we need to just rest. You know the kind of rest I mean, right? The no guilt kind. Not the kind where you sit or lie or walk while thinking about all you have to do. I tend to worry about such things. Like to plan things out. That's not bad. Unless my plan is unrealistic. Unless my plan supercedes actually seeing the day that I'm walking through. I don't condone laziness. But I also don't condone busyness. Balance. Finding things we enjoy. Doing those well. Honoring who we were made to be by actually being that. Knowing that while everything is not always perfect, it's always just what it is. A dinner party is perfect for some if all looks luscious. For others if the house is immaculate. For others it's the people. For others it's the wine choices. And sometimes, we get so busy trying to please everyone that we forget that what people really need is to enjoy the who of who we are. So, my dinner party would be all about the people. It would be my priority to let them know to make themselves at home. To relax. To do what makes them comfortable. If I came to your house and you are a clean freak (oh, I'm sorry, was that derogatory?:)) then I can enjoy not just your clean house but how much pleasure that brought you. How you brought your personality to the party. So often we get lost trying to be everybody. Instead, it seems that we should take the time to be who we are and let others be who they are so that life is richer and more full. Just like in cooking, a variety of spices complement one another and make the food delicious. But using too much of one spice and none of the others makes it unbearable. So stop for a minute today and figure out what you bring to the world. Ok, it might take more than a minute........maybe a lifetime....and try to be that today......while enjoying who the people around you are as well. Life is a celebration. A gift to be opened each and every moment. You got up this morning. Maybe even showered. Made some breakfast. Did the routine. Don't forget to live. To smile. To think. To hope. To dream. To be vulnerable. To ask questions. To be curious. Inquisitive. Don't forget that in the midst of the most mundane tasks there can be great moments of inspiration and beauty. But if there's not, get it done fast and go to the next thing!!! The sun is shining here today. The trees are really green after the rain. My plants shot up from all of this moisture. As did the weeds. But there will be time for the weeds later. Right now I want to enjoy the flowers. They are so pretty. What are you enjoying? What takes your breath away? Everyone seems to think that I'm crazy to dream about going to the ocean this year with very little to no money. Hmm. Maybe I am. But I dream and hope anyway because frankly, it absolutely takes my breath away. It makes me feel more alive and closer to God. It makes me stop. It makes me see how small I am and yet still important. It gives me time. It is so dependable and yet so powerful. It changes things every day and yet remains somewhat the same. I am ready. I hope to go. I can almost hear it because I am hoping so desperately. Makes me feel like a child. How they want something with their whole being. How come we knock that out of people? I am going to start replanting it. Find a dream today too. Hope for it with great abandon.

blessings, rhonda

Thanks for the memories

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 15:13:00 -0400

Goodness. Here I sit, on the floor. NO chairs around....oh, wait there's one, oh, but it has stuff in it since we are all out of flat surfaces. Well, I'll just lean here on the wall in the darkened store with clutter all around and reminisce a bit. Last night as we locked up, it felt very much like the first day 2 years and 10 months ago. But the lump wasn't in my throat then. Last night, as I locked the door and walked away I realized that in a very very short time I will walk out one evening and never walk back in. Ouch. Rose Buds is a haven. For some of you. For me. It has memories that have stuck themselves firmly in my mind. Dress up. Louella and Kim snuggled beside each other to play Scrabble with vintage hats on. The bonding of the Mah Jong group. The Bible Study girls making their own friendships. And, once upon a time, a lovely knitting group. I remember the Art Walks and the Festivals on Main. Oh, and, can't forget the Halloween Parade.....goodness, some of those kids came by four and five times. I remember these two crazy women who thought that they could run a business. We kind of suck at it I think. But it still was a blesing. It still has been a huge learning time. We love all of the nice people. Not so fond of the meany heads. But we included them too.:) Now, are you wondering which you are? Actually, if you are reading this, you are not one of the meany heads. They never stayed. They just passed through. Never use spray paint in the basement. Never use spray paint with the doors closed. Never use oil based paints with the doors closed. Unless you really have a project that you really really want to get done..then go ahead, because it's totally worth it. Give it your all. Work hard. Play hard. Share openly. Give your heart. Be willing to get hurt. Be willing to lose. Be willing to fail. Expect to succeed. Smile when the world looks darkest...it might help someone else. Face problems head on. Learn that no is a complete sentence. And does not need an explanation. Love extravagantly. Frolic Shamelessly. Give generously. And never ever forget that your girlfriends have your back when the world gets too hard. I have learned that women are incredibly strong in a very gentle and loving way. A fierce love. You don't mess with their friends or family. And if you mess with their kids.......well, lets just not even go there. You have all combined to teach me so many things. To give me so many snapshots in my mind. Your smiles radiate in my heart. And I hesitate. Stopping. Looking back. Pausing. Nervous. Oh God, is it time? Can it possibly, truly be time? Surely not. It was too short. "No, it was just long enough." Ok, well, I guess then it's time. Time to say good bye to Rose Buds Store. Time to say hello to a new plan. A new life goal. A new time. And that's ok. Every single time we say goodbye, we get to say hello. We get to grow. We get to learn and find new adventures. So, I'm going to step out of this reminiscing and into the next memory to be made. I'm going to be present in this moment so that one day when I look back, this moment will be one of my cherished memories. So, yes, thanks for the memories!!! And here's to the future!!! blessings, rhonda

Good Grief

Fri, 29 May 2009 18:36:00 -0400

I don't know where the saying "good grief" came from. I remember it from my earliest memories when reading the Peanuts comic strip with my grandpa. I never thought of it having any deeper meaning other than it was what Charlie Brown was told over and over. "Good grief, Charlie Brown." But these days, I am finding that it has meaning. Those of you "in the know", know that these last months have brought a multitude of griefs to Deedee's and my lives. From her father, Jack's, painful illness and eventual death, to my poor health, to the break up of her marriage and now, the closing of Rose Buds. So much in so little time. It has been heartbreaking. We don't have bad attitudes towards it. We are not overcome. However, we are hurting. And yet, strangely enough, we are excited. No, we have not lost our minds. We are very aware of the financial difficulties we will have to overcome even after closing Rose Buds. We know that her divorce will be difficult. And we know that not feeling good has been too hard for too long. Yet, in the grief, there is good. Continuing to walk, to get up and try again, to dream, to hope..........that is good. This is the end of one dream, one adventure and one phase of life. But what is coming is yet to be seen, a surprise, a gift, a challenge, a blessing. And I can't wait to see what God does. I have no illusions that the journey will be easy or lined with only clear paths and friendly roads. But I do know that it will be worth it. So many ask if I think that we failed. Maybe business wise we have. But in the ways that really matter we have had great success. Met people. Learned a tremendous amount to help us in future endeavors. Made lots of mistakes. Said lots of apologies. Hoped big. Pursued dreams. And though it's painful, it's totally worth it. I can't see around the bend, though I have the personality that I often crane my neck trying to. But I know that the journey is totally wonderful. Living is a gift. Each day. Give it your all. Give dreams a chance. Even if they don't look like you hoped, you get a lot more than if you never travel their roads at all. Give yourself grace to fail sometimes. And keep on trying. You will find joy. You will find grief. Intermingled. That's "good grief". blessings, rhonda

Change of Life

Tue, 26 May 2009 08:36:00 -0400

Seriously, I always thought that the change of life was simply a hormonal thing that occurs naturally and could be expected at a certain time with certain effects. Everyone talks about it like it's "the" change. What they don't tell you is that it's at a time in life when everything is changing and that the duration seems to be forever. Much like puberty.......everyone makes it sound like all that happens is that one night this little period fairy visits and then you are a woman. Yeah, right, they don't tell you how teen aged girls cry and fight and get their feelings hurt and say nasty things. They don't mention how your body not only goes through the pretty changes...i.e. getting boobs....but also that you get bloated and uncomfortable. These hormonal changes are huge and long lasting I'm thinking. And this change of life one, I'm only at the cusp, but I'm realizing that the problem is just like when I was a teen ager.......EVERYTHING is changing, not just my body. My kids are becoming people, my friends are going through similar hormonal rages, graduations and weddings and births and huge event planning are becoming a staple part of life. I laughed about hot flashes. I mean, "what could be so hard about that?", I thought. And mammograms are a piece of cake in comparison to what all of the comedians say........though not a choice for a girls night out. And the sagging boobs........well, that I am appalled by. I mean. what's the use if they can't stand on their own two feet so to speak? Bras cease to be frilly and sheer and take on the look of army gear.........but what's the point when it has to come off eventually and the truth be known that perky is out and pouty is in? I mean, yes, I can hide it under clothes, but out of clothes, no way.
Swim suits are especially a treasure at this season of life. I need an all over firming one.....they seem to think that it's either tummy, thighs or boobs, but what if I need it all? Basically I need swim armor now. But once I get myself squeezed into it I can still see the handles on the sides. And what to do about that special little little of arm flab that flops when wearing sleeveless. I mean seriously, no swim suit has sleeves. I hear that that is the part that tones of most quickly and a few push ups each day should get them right back in shape. But do they mean grape or orange flavored? Seriously, I keep hearing that exercise is the key at this stage of life. Obviously this advice is being written by some man who has no clue what a woman at this stage of life is doing. Her butt is the shape of her vehicle seat because that's where she spends every moment that she is not working or cooking. Everyone always needs to go somewhere. Sometimes I have an idea, but I refrain from telling because it would be wrong. So see, I still have self-control. Then there are the helpful hints of how to exercise when in the car. Are they completely insane? I mean, how do you put on your make up, talk on the phone, interact with your kids all while doing butt crunches??? Doesn't that seem a bit distracting? I mean, I used to have a friend who pumped breast milk while driving.........I thought she was a super hero. But over the years I have found that the car is just another place where I must multi task just to keep up with the day. Then there's that period that started the whole thing all these years ago. How can it still be shocking? I didn't know that it would change too......that the little cylinders would be completely inadequate and that super plus would seem without substance in the onslaught of later life menses. Don't you love that word??? Some months are a flood others drought. Nothing is predictable. That old 28 days thing goes completely out the window and any time anywhere becomes reality. No wonder some women get pregnant in their 50's. That is a whole different story. I can't imagine starting over. And in the midst of these huge body changes, our kids have dating drama, proms, homecomings, tests, learning to drive, getting jobs, graduations, weddings, babies, weird hair styles, piercings, tattoos, wrecks, relational trauma, AND they go through puberty while we go through this. Then there's the husband. He gets to have a simple mid-life crisis. I have tried to figure out why and what it means. I'm not certain yet, but so far all I get is that it has to do with disappointment. A reality check. I'm thinking maybe it has to do with the armored swim clothes and military issue brassieres. Maybe that's why so many men bail and find the younger, curvier, sexier women........the ones wearing the floss suits and the lace undergarments. But sexy is really being able to juggle it all with grace. It's learning how to deal with the huge upheavals with wisdom and kindness. It's knowing that we are more than the body which contains us. Experiences. Spirits. Hopes. Dreams. That we are loved for the who of who we are. Ok, so that's what people my age tell themselves because that's what makes them feel better. But the truth is that we wish we could look great, feel great and still have the wisdom and experiences and that just doesn't happen. But I do know this great surgeon.............just kidding. blessings, rhonda

New Plan Underway

Sat, 16 May 2009 20:24:00 -0400

So, this weekend has been the first of our store closing sale........and it has been bittersweet. Lots of goodbyes, but lots of fun seeing everybody and getting to talk about what the future holds. You know, you never really grow up.....you are always in the process of growing up and deciding what to be and what to do next. And that's how it is for us right now. I have the greatest business partner in the whole world. No matter how hard life seems, she is always able to bring me back to hope. To dreaming. It's fun to look back on all of the happy memories. All of the times we went shopping and didn't have room in the vehicle for what we bought. All of the times that we swore that we could be back by 1:00 or whenever but were completely overtaken by the thrill of the hunt. The great vacations with the kids where we went on the itty bitty roads and stopped to shop in every podunk town. Twas a hoot. The times when we were getting ready to open and so tired that we crashed right in the middle of the floor. I have a feeling closing will be very similar. So many ladies have been here laughing. So many games. So many friendly faces. I don't regret a moment. Don't regret it though there were also huge worries. Don't regret it although it was more work than we could have possibly imagined. This part of life has been a huge blessing to me. It has grown me. It has challenged me. It has made me learn. I am eternally grateful for this opportunity. Thanks to all of you. I love you lots. I am glad that you became a part of my family. Hope that the legacy of Rose Buds will be that you learn to open your homes and hearts to people......to sharing each others lives just a little bit more. Keep in touch. I'll still be living here on your computer. See ya soon.

Blessings,

rhonda

Saying Goodbye

Fri, 15 May 2009 08:24:00 -0400

Wow, I didn't know that this day would come so soon. It leaves a lump in my throat to think of how to say goodbye to so many wonderful memories......Scrabble and Mahjong, Bible Study, art classes, just hanging out with friends, furniture painting, vaccuuming......ok, just kidding, I hate vaccuuming the whole store. Closing our store will be bittersweet. Thankfully, we have wonderful lives and families and friends to enjoy even when we are no longer at Rose Buds. But Rose Buds made things easier. It was nice to have people stop in. It was nice to get to meet new people with very little effort. But life is always constantly changing. It has ups and downs, mountains and pits. But life is good, even when it's painful. Living is the process of walking through all of these different experiences and growing into people who honor the One who created us in the first place.

So, today my heart is aching. But, my heart is not empty. I am not without hope. I am not without people to love and be loved by. I am blessed. You have been a part of that blessing in my life and I want to say thank you for being willing to come along side this last couple of years. It has been a great trip........love you much. I'll write more when I'm not feeling quite so somber.:)

blessings, rhonda

Post Birthday Blues

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:02:00 -0400

Yesterday was my birthday. It was wonderful. What I love about a birthday is that you pretty much get to do what you want because if anyone has any expectations, you can just say, "hey, it's my birthday," and nothing is expected. I looovvee that. I know, pretty selfish sounding. But frankly, I've been a mom for a long time, and a wife even longer than that ( i know that some of you were wondering if i got the order right.:)). I have planned more holidays, birthdays and events than I can even remember. I have cooked and cleaned and shopped and been responsible for all of the little details. And, I used to be responsible for my own birthday too. And then there came a time when I realized that I hated that. I wanted my beloved ones to figure it out, to meet my needs. But the thing is that for that to happen, I have to get out of the way. I am the center of such happenings in our home. I am the one who makes things like this happen. And I was so afraid; what would happen in the void of planning? I love to plan for birthdays for kids, husband, and friends. I like to think upon what exactly would bring a smile to their faces and I don't mean just a gift, though that's fun too......I mean the event itself. Should it be intimate or huge? Should it be fancy or laid back? What should we eat.......that's always huge. And if I were to back out of my own planning then what happens if there is no planning? What happens if nobody bothers. Well, what could happen is that I could be hurt....and I have been before. Not all years have gone so well. But at some point I decided to do it anyway. And, I can't say that a lot of planning goes into it. I can't say that anyone lies awake wondering exactly what will bring me the most joy. They are not me. Go figure. But, I can say that I had a great meal cooked and cleaned up. I had wonderful friends arrive and have cake.......which, wonder of wonders, I didn't have to bake!! Things were good. Now, I never ever hide the fact that it is my birthday. I want lots of good wishes and hugs. It's a celebration to live. A birthday is the perfect opportunity to celebrate the gift of these years I've been given. And, giving up the control of the whole thing has its highs and lows, but the best part is that I don't feel badly anymore because nobody figured anything out. You see, in the absence of someone else doing something, in a void, someone will step in and fill it. In other words, I am not the only one who can figure things like this out.:) Yesterday was fabulous. Marvelous. I got the best homemade cards. My kids, Deedee's kids. They went out of their way to make me feel good. They wrote things that were heart warming and funny. I loved my birthday. My husband cooked his heart out........pretty much I think it makes him remember that he hates to cook, though he is good at it. But now it is the day after my birthday and I have to go back to just being the same as everyone else. Back to being responsible for every meal. Every holiday. Oh man, Easter is coming! But, I can look forward to that one day that will come again where I get to be the center of the day..........waited on and special. Whoo hoo!!!! Only 364 more days to go.

Thankful

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:15:00 -0400

Some days are thankful days. They are the days when I awaken and think of how blessed I am for so many things. What's odd to me is how these days come at times when I don't feel so well, or have difficult decisions to make, or have disturbances in relationships. I don't find that my thankfulness is increased by an increase in "good" events, but by events that are perhaps troublesome. It's as if my mind looks for good more carefully when things are harsher.......and finds them. But when things are really going very smoothly I can become pretty self centered and wonder why things are not all going my way. These days have been days of immense thankfulness. I absolutely love that. Though I sometimes wish for more ease of life, I find that I enjoy the thankfulness of these times more than I enjoy the easiness. It took me a long time to feel that way. It's not really my nature to like difficult times. Yet, maybe it's seeing that through hard work, through winter times, freshness comes. Renewal. Oh, yes I've written that Rose Buds is being renewed and rejuvenated. A little bit each day. If you come in you might find that it looks significantly different. You should see the black vanity i just painted. Oooh, Ahhhh. But what is most exciting is that I am being renewed. Inside to outside. It's not just an exterior makeover. We've all had those........where some expert magnificently enhances all of our best features and makes us look beautiful........but still, sometimes we feel like crap inside. The best makeovers are the kind that start in our soul. They work their way out to our faces, to our smiles, to our eyes. It's the kind of makeover that doesn't necessarily remove wrinkles but rather makes it look like a good thing to have wrinkles. You know, those women with happy wrinkles? Crinkly eyes. I love a well loved, well used face....one that has done lots of smiling and giving. For me it all begins with remembering Who made me and what He thinks of me. He says I'm invaluable. He says I'm to die for. He says that I am His artwork. He says I'm cherished. And somehow when I start to hear those things, I start to be thankful, though nothing has changed. And being thankful looks really good on anyone! Try it on today. Comes in all sizes. All color palettes. You'll find that it'll make every part of you more appealing.

Well, thanks for walking with me on my ramble. Have a great spring! blessings, rhonda

Newness

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 09:57:00 -0400

The rain was especially wonderful in the middle of the night as it beat on the windows and roof. The wind had picked up and there was a regular little storm going on. Oh, it wasn't one of those baboom storms, but still it was a refreshing change from the dry, moistureless times we have been experiencing. Yesterday was in the 70's and right now it's only 42 according to my 11 year old. She loves to check the thermometer every morning. And strangely, as soon as I looked outside today, I saw the grass that I had been so worried about yesterday, peeking up through the dried straw that had been the result of a fairly snowless winter. It doesn't take much to cause change. Just a little bit of hope. Just like a little bit of rain. Just like the rain seeps in, the hope seeps into our souls and causes us to change. Sometimes our circumstances are no easier than they were before, but because of hope, we are able to work harder, be more committed, learn what to do and to simply try just a little bit more. Just like that rain, it will take more than one day, but one day is a start. I've seen that around Rose Buds lately. It was sure a dry winter. But you can see Spring creeping in. Hope is alive there. A change or two at a time and everything seems new again. It's marvelous. If you haven't been in, it's something to see. The art is amazing. The pretties unending. More eye candy than ever before. And, gasp and shock, there is new painted furniture...........and it's, dare I say it, it's black. Really cool furniture. Unique pieces at great prices. It makes me feel good to own Rose Buds because I know that it's a place where anyone can find a little something special. It's homey and comfortable. It's not always perfect, but it's always inviting. Thinking about it, it's like a good friend, not perfect, but just what you need. So if you are needing a pick me up in your own life, a little bit of hope to seep into your soul, come visit us. Look around and be inspired. Maybe the sense of newness and hope will be contagious. blessings, rhonda