Heartfriend Originals

Seriously, I always thought that the change of life was simply a hormonal thing that occurs naturally and could be expected at a certain time with certain effects.  Everyone talks about it like it's "the" change.  What they don't tell you is that it's at a time in life when everything is changing and that the duration seems to be forever.  Much like puberty.......everyone makes it sound like all that happens is that one night this little period fairy visits and then you are a woman.  Yeah, right, they don't tell you how teen aged girls cry and fight and get their feelings hurt and say nasty things.  They don't mention how your body not only goes through the pretty changes...i.e. getting boobs....but also that you get bloated and uncomfortable.  These hormonal changes are huge and long lasting I'm thinking.  And this change of life one, I'm only at the cusp, but I'm realizing that the problem is just like when I was a teen ager.......EVERYTHING is changing, not just my body.  My kids are becoming people, my friends are going through similar hormonal rages, graduations and weddings and births and huge event planning are becoming a staple part of life. I laughed about hot flashes.  I mean, "what could be so hard about that?", I thought.   And mammograms are a piece of cake in comparison to what all of the comedians say........though not a choice for a girls night out.  And the sagging boobs........well, that I am appalled by.  I mean. what's the use if they can't stand on their own two feet so to speak?  Bras cease to be frilly and sheer and take on the look of army gear.........but what's the point when it has to come off eventually and the truth be known that perky is out and pouty is in?  I mean, yes, I can hide it under clothes, but out of clothes, no way. 
Swim suits are especially a treasure at this season of life.  I need an all over firming one.....they seem to think that it's either tummy, thighs or boobs, but what if I need it all?  Basically I need swim armor now.  But once I get myself squeezed into it I can still see the handles on the sides.  And what to do about that special little little of arm flab that flops when wearing sleeveless.  I mean seriously, no swim suit has sleeves.  I hear that that is the part that tones of most quickly and a few push ups each day should get them right back in shape.  But do they mean grape or orange flavored?  Seriously, I keep hearing that exercise is the key at this stage of life.  Obviously this advice is being written by some man who has no clue what a woman at this stage of life is doing.  Her butt is the shape of her vehicle seat because that's where she spends every moment that she is not working or cooking.  Everyone always needs to go somewhere.  Sometimes I have an idea, but I refrain from telling because it would be wrong.  So see, I still have self-control.  Then there are the helpful hints of how to exercise when in the car.  Are they completely insane?  I mean, how do you put on your make up, talk on the phone, interact with your kids all while doing butt crunches???  Doesn't that seem a bit distracting?  I mean, I used to have a friend who pumped breast milk while driving.........I thought she was a super hero.  But over the years I have found that the car is just another place where I must multi task just to keep up with the day.  Then there's that period that started the whole thing all these years ago.  How can it still be shocking?  I didn't know that it would change too......that the little cylinders would be completely inadequate and that super plus would seem without substance in the onslaught of later life menses.  Don't you love that word???   Some months are a flood others drought.  Nothing is predictable.  That old 28 days thing goes completely out the window and any time anywhere becomes reality.  No wonder some women get pregnant in their 50's.  That is a whole different story.  I can't imagine starting over.  And in the midst of these huge body changes, our kids have dating drama, proms, homecomings, tests, learning to drive, getting jobs, graduations, weddings, babies, weird hair styles, piercings, tattoos, wrecks, relational trauma, AND they go through puberty while we go through this.  Then there's the husband.  He gets to have a simple mid-life crisis.  I have tried to figure out why and what it means.  I'm not certain yet, but so far all I get is that it has to do with disappointment.  A reality check.  I'm thinking maybe it has to do with the armored swim clothes and military issue brassieres.  Maybe that's why so many men bail and find the younger, curvier, sexier women........the ones wearing the floss suits and the lace undergarments.  But sexy is really being able to juggle it all with grace.  It's learning how to deal with the huge upheavals with wisdom and kindness.  It's knowing that we are more than the body which contains us.  Experiences.  Spirits.  Hopes.  Dreams.  That we are loved for the who of who we are.  Ok, so that's what people my age tell themselves because that's what makes them feel better.  But the truth is that we wish we could look great, feel great and still have the wisdom and experiences and that just doesn't happen.  But I do know this great surgeon.............just kidding.  blessings, rhonda