Heartfriend Originals

Yesterday was my birthday.  It was wonderful.  What I love about a birthday is that you pretty much get to do what you want because if anyone has any expectations, you can just say, "hey, it's my birthday," and nothing is expected.  I looovvee that.  I know, pretty selfish sounding.  But frankly, I've been a mom for a long time, and a wife even longer than that ( i know that some of you were wondering if i got the order right.:)).  I have planned more holidays, birthdays and events than I can even remember.  I have cooked and cleaned and shopped and been responsible for all of the little details.  And, I used to be responsible for my own birthday too.  And then there came a time when I realized that I hated that.  I wanted my beloved ones to figure it out, to meet my needs.  But the thing is that for that to happen, I have to get out of the way.  I am the center of such happenings in our home.  I am the one who makes things like this happen.  And I was so afraid;  what would happen in the void of planning?  I love to plan for birthdays for kids, husband, and friends.  I like to think upon what exactly would bring a smile to their faces and I don't mean just a gift, though that's fun too......I mean the event itself.  Should it be intimate or huge?  Should it be fancy or laid back?  What should we eat.......that's always huge.  And if I were to back out of my own planning then what happens if there is no planning?  What happens if nobody bothers.  Well, what could happen is that I could be hurt....and I have been before.  Not all years have gone so well.  But at some point I decided to do it anyway.  And, I can't say that a lot of planning goes into it.  I can't say that anyone lies awake wondering exactly what will bring me the most joy.  They are not me.  Go figure.  But, I can say that I had a great meal cooked and cleaned up.  I had wonderful friends arrive and have cake.......which, wonder of wonders, I didn't have to bake!!  Things were good.  Now, I never ever hide the fact that it is my birthday.  I want lots of good wishes and hugs.  It's a celebration to live.  A birthday is the perfect opportunity to celebrate the gift of these years I've been given.  And, giving up the control of the whole thing has its highs and lows, but the best part is that I don't feel badly anymore because nobody figured anything out.  You see, in the absence of someone else doing something, in a void, someone will step in and fill it.  In other words, I am not the only one who can figure things like this out.:)  Yesterday was fabulous.  Marvelous.  I got the best homemade cards.  My kids, Deedee's kids.  They went out of their way to make me feel good.  They wrote things that were heart warming and funny.  I loved my birthday.  My husband cooked his heart out........pretty much I think it makes him remember that he hates to cook, though he is good at it.  But now it is the day after my birthday and I have to go back to just being the same as everyone else.  Back to being responsible for every meal.  Every holiday.  Oh man, Easter is coming!  But, I can look forward to that one day that will come again where I get to be the center of the day..........waited on and special.  Whoo hoo!!!!  Only 364 more days to go.